You meet your significant other, your date, you get engaged, and now you’re married. Congratulations! Even though you love each other, why are things suddenly so complicated? Maybe you’ve been married for a while and you’re noticing things are getting a little stale in the bedroom. Perhaps you do not see eye to eye on things anymore. Why can’t you see eye to eye on anything anymore?
Relationships are hard work. Maintaining them takes work, investment and effort, and keeping them happy can be challenging. Although relationships aren’t immune to the challenges life throws at them, there are steps you and your partner can take to make them as fulfilling and as happy as possible.
Address bad habits.
Everyone has annoying habits and weird quirks. They might not seem a big deal at first, but if you live with your partner, these habits often get magnified. If your partner leaves crumbs around the kitchen every day, despite you asking them to clean up after themselves, it’s going to get pretty frustrating. If you spend all your spare time on your phone rather than chatting with your partner, it’s reasonable to assume they might feel upset. Empty milk bottles in the fridge, toilet seats left up, laundry on the floor and lights left on are some of the biggest pet peeves, but all of these issues can be addressed if you put some effort in!
Be open about your feelings.
Relationships can be complicated, especially when you have a lot of baggage and unresolved issues. Your partner may be having a tough time with something and feels the need to unwind with you, but underneath it all, there may be a bigger issue. You know your partner better than anyone, and if you notice they are constantly avoiding certain topics, it may be time to bring up the subject. When in doubt, be open and honest about your feelings. Being open will eventually bring you closer together as it builds trust and increases transparency.
Work through misunderstandings.
Strong relationships can feel fragile at times. You might be reluctant to call your partner out when your partner doesn’t live up to basic standards. If you bottle up your misunderstandings, however, they can all come out at once. This can lead to explosive arguments and will only lead to both of you getting upset, which can then lead to resentment. The truth is it’s far better to realise that you and your partner need to work through misunderstandings than it is to wait and risk the relationship.
Balance out the relationship.
A healthy relationship should be built on a foundation of trust, respect, and shared values. Keeping this relationship balanced takes work since we are all human and will encounter disagreements and difficulties at times. If it feels like one of you is putting in a lot more effort than the other, it’s time to balance the tables. There needs to be a clear understanding that it takes two to tango, and a relationship only works if both parties are committing their time, energy and love in full. Relationships don’t work when someone has one foot out of the door, so you both need to be standing firmly on the same ground.
Have sex regularly.
Couples may avoid sex for a variety of reasons, including busy schedules and having too much on their minds. If you want to take your relationship to the next level and keep things going, increased intimacy is a good start. Start with more cuddles, and your bond will slowly grow. The sensual interplay between two people can help create a deeper bond, and it’s a form of communication that allows you to express how your partner makes you feel. Even though it’s an important ingredient in a healthy relationship, sex doesn’t always happen naturally, so it’s important to put effort into it.
Go on dates.
Relationships take work, dedication, and communication. But relationships can also become stagnant, and that’s why you should still go on dates, even years into your relationship. This helps to keep things fresh and exciting, especially if you’re exploring a new place together. The idea is to bring the spark back, so think of at least one romantic thing to do together each month, and never let anything else disrupt your plans!
Talk about the future.
Sometimes it feels like you’ve been together forever. Or maybe it feels like you’ve barely known each other. Marriage and long-term relationships are tough; you need to spend extra time making sure you’re on the same page about your future. Talking about the future is about prioritising your relationship and your future as a couple—it’s not just about how you think you want to spend it or how you hope it will be.
Love can be a battlefield where one person is “always right” and the other “always wrong”, but love doesn’t need to be a war zone. You should be able to be gentle, kind, understanding, and accepting of the other person, even if they make mistakes.
